WHEN LOVE MATERIALIZES

There is a strange feeling when love materializes
That warm sensation of being protected
That desperate state of openness and vulnerability
That controversy of thinking the “what if’s”, the “how come”, the “why me”
There is a strange feeling when love materializes
That untouchable sensation of being in ecstasy
That uncontrollable state of mind with palpitations
That incomprehensible happiness and desire of being there, together, forever
That’s how I feel around you,
Even in those days when storms seem to want to stay
Even when you look down and walk away
Love materializes
Because hidden under my iron armor
Protected by a lion’s roar
Love is still there, installed to stay eternally
An eternity that seems unthinkable without you
Love materializes
When you look back at me
When you forgive me for my missteps
When you hold my hand to walk together
When you kiss me by surprise
And completely out of the blue
You say one more time:
I love you.

DRY

It is hard to look at
My image in the mirror
Getting dry, getting old
He’s another man and not me
I’m the kid that still thinks he can play
Have fun times with friends and laugh
Be happy with a whole life ahead
Run, dance, travel and keep moving forward
Live young, live healthy, and live well
The image in the mirror lives in hell
Decomposing time every second
Peeling his carcass rotting in pain
No, that’s not me
I’m the one who is getting younger
Committing to a full life again
Making new mistakes
Starting over backwards
Exchanging a smile for each tear
Trying new steps trying to be impressive
Jumping with happiness to a new beginning
And yet you are staring at me
You, decrepit old parchment
Who has lost the life of living in plenitude
Who is dying with envy of not being young anymore
Dry image in the mirror it is your time to die
To let me go to enjoy my new life
A life I have chosen far away from you
To be young, to be happy
To please my heart’s desires
To relinquish to my real age
And to try something new.

THAT KID

Far behind is the kid
Bright eyes always smiling
Hoping to get the most of life
Turning and turning and changing directions
Looking confused when something goes wrong
Not understanding the sense of adventure
Questioning always the meaning of life
Far behind is the boy
The one that one day will discover his body
And will hide all his feelings afraid of the truth
The one who all of a sudden will shut his smiles
The sadness invading torrential turmoil
Far behind is the young teenager
The one who walks on water
Who cries for an answer forgiveness from God
And then he resolves it is time to grow faster
The mirror reflects not that kid anymore.

THE LAST LETTER

I wrote you a letter
A letter that you will never read
it is not a good bye letter
But has all the pain I would ever feel.

I wrote you a letter
A letter of forgiveness you will never read
because you shattered my heart to pieces
And I was transformed into another being.

I wrote you a letter
Another letter you will never read
So I will remember you in the darkness
Shadows over my soul that will never leave.

I wrote you a letter
My last love letter you will never read
Because that love is gone forever
It was just a love that would never be.

LONELY DESERT

My feet sinking in the sand
The sun cooking the surface
And me, red without protection
Trying to find and end to all
Walking the desolation
The smell still intense and burning
Reflections in the liquid blind me
While the peninsula sinks without remedy
Too late to save you
Too late to save me
The opportunity of redemption was long past and gone
And when the final cloud of smoke disappears
My breath with goes with it
Leaving you alone and deserted
Surrounded by a sea of dead
Stinky human putrefaction
What have we done to you
Green peninsula of the South
How did you let it happen
Land of the first continental colony
Why did we kill you
Oh, beautiful Florida!

MAKE HIM PROUD

Make him proud
That was the call
Before he left us so young
Without giving me the opportunity
To tell him the truth
To express my real feelings
To be my real self
Because I was afraid
In denial I just survived
The solitude of my teen years
The pain of looking different
The pain of not thinking straight
The pain of faking words and actions
The pain of an unreal smile
And I kept hiding my heart
Like a face covered with scars
Running faster to fail again
Moving away to start anew
Same life, same uncovered story
Different city, same lie
And then your illness
Those last desperate days
Running back home before the inevitable
Those last unconsolable nights
Waiting for your eyes to open
Waiting to speak with you, dad
But that never happened
You closed your eyes forever
Your body had lost the battle
And I had lost my chance
You departed without knowing my secret
And inside me, something just died.

BEFORE I CLOSE MY EYES

I don’t want to close my eyes,
I want to stay awake and live what I haven’t lived
I want to go back to my youth and pick up the pieces of a broken teenager
And convince the little one that he can be happy
I want to sit again in front of my parents stereo
And listen to that record for the very first time
I want to rise on my tippy-toes to look at myself in the mirror
To get scared again thinking that image its not mine, scream and run
I want to feel free to dance in the street bring in the new year
To jump into some stranger’s track with as many friends as I had
To celebrate the victory of a national soccer team I never cared about
I want to bring food to the soldiers on that train going south
I want to again use my white beret
And walk in the march of hope in a country that was not mine
I want to be on a stage again
Be the star of that small role and enjoy that fraction of applause that was mine
I don’t want to close my eyes
I want to live again all those moments that made my life so great
The family, the friends, the lovers that are gone
The toys that I don’t have anymore
The book I couldn’t finish
The film non-produced
The trip I never made
I refuse to close my eyes too soon
I reclaim an extension of my youth
More time to remember
More time to live.