It is hard to look at
My image in the mirror
Getting dry, getting old
He’s another man and not me
I’m the kid that still thinks he can play
Have fun times with friends and laugh
Be happy with a whole life ahead
Run, dance, travel and keep moving forward
Live young, live healthy, and live well
The image in the mirror lives in hell
Decomposing time every second
Peeling his carcass rotting in pain
No, that’s not me
I’m the one who is getting younger
Committing to a full life again
Making new mistakes
Starting over backwards
Exchanging a smile for each tear
Trying new steps trying to be impressive
Jumping with happiness to a new beginning
And yet you are staring at me
You, decrepit old parchment
Who has lost the life of living in plenitude
Who is dying with envy of not being young anymore
Dry image in the mirror it is your time to die
To let me go to enjoy my new life
A life I have chosen far away from you
To be young, to be happy
To please my heart’s desires
To relinquish to my real age
And to try something new.
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1) I think you should go see a shrink because of your issues with age, which you shouldn't have because you are not old! I'm 19 and I have wrinkles, it's part of being human.
ReplyDelete2) How many times must Greg and I tell you, you are gorgeous for you to believe it? You are a lot better looking than I am, and I am supposedly at my prime age. In my honest opinion, I swear on my mother's life, that you are the most handsome man I have ever seen. Though others might not think the same as me, it is my opinion that matters most. I personally do not think I am overly good looking, but according to many I am very handsome, so I believe what they say because they see something I don't, it is the same with you.
3) Your image should not stop you from doing anything, you still have a whole life ahead of you, and I will make sure to keep you young forever.
4) Your ideas are great, but they are too jumpy. You should find a way to transition your ideas, or use different words to describe specific moments. For example,"Peeling his carcass rotting in pain" could be "Peeling his carcass from the rotting pain," or "Peeling his carcass' rotting pain." You need to find a balance between the words you use so that your ideas are seen clearly.